The Importance of Closure for Mental Health and Well-Being

Closure is a feeling of finality or resolution that people seek after a significant event or relationship comes to an end. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a breakup, or a traumatic experience, achieving a sense of closure can be crucial for moving forward and maintaining good mental health[1][2]. 

What is Closure?

Closure involves receiving answers and explanations that allow you to understand and make sense of a confusing or painful life event. It’s about gaining a feeling that the matter has been resolved to your satisfaction[1].

Examples of closure include:

– Receiving an apology or explanation from someone who wronged you

– Learning the cause of a loved one’s death 

– Conducting a ritual to mark the end of a relationship

– Meeting with an ex-partner to discuss why the relationship ended[1]

However, closure is not always easy to achieve and what constitutes closure varies from person to person. Psychotherapist Dr. Gary McClain explores this complex topic in his book “The Power of Closure: Why We Want It, How to Get It and When to Walk Away.”

Key Insights from “The Power of Closure”

In his book, Dr. McClain explains:

– Why the promise of closure is so appealing, but not always what it’s cracked up to be

– What closure is and isn’t  

– The reasons we want closure

– How to seek closure in healthy and productive ways

– Ways to move forward when we don’t get the closure we’re looking for[1]

He emphasizes that closure is something you have to find within yourself, rather than expecting to get it from others. The book provides strategies for finding peace and leaving regret behind after painful events like breakups, fights with friends, and losing loved ones[1].

The Psychology of Closure

Research shows there are individual differences in people’s need for and ability to achieve closure. Those who prefer order and have rigid thinking struggle more without closure, while those who are open-minded and tolerant of ambiguity cope better[2].

Not finding closure can lead to psychological distress like anxiety and depression. However, desperately seeking closure by reliving trauma or dragging out painful experiences can sometimes do more harm than good[2].

Finding Closure in a Healthy Way

While closure is important, how you seek it matters for your mental well-being. Some suggestions:

– Acknowledge and accept your emotions about the event[1]

– Reframe your thoughts to find meaning and lessons learned[1]

– Develop a ritual to mark the end of that chapter[1][3]  

– Focus on your goals and the future rather than ruminating on the past[1]

– Seek support from loved ones or a therapist to process difficult feelings[1][2]

– Write a letter expressing your feelings to the other person, then destroy it[3][4]

– Practice empathy and forgiveness towards yourself and others involved[2][6]

– Engage in self-reflection to understand your role and how to improve[3][4]

– Establish clear boundaries with your ex if needed[1][3]

– Take full responsibility for yourself and the actions needed to move forward[6]

Additional ideas for finding closure:

– Journaling about your experience and emotions[3]

– Meditating to gain clarity and inner peace

– Traveling to gain perspective and distance yourself 

– Immersing yourself in hobbies and activities you enjoy

– Volunteering to help others and find a sense of purpose

– Attending a support group for people with similar experiences

Remember, you are in charge of obtaining your own closure[1][3][4][7]. While getting answers from others can help, true closure comes from within as you work to understand and accept an experience. Be patient with yourself in the process.

The most important thing is taking care of yourself and focusing on your healing and growth. With time, support, and healthy coping strategies, you can find the closure you need to move forward after a painful ending. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you’re struggling.

Citations:

[1] https://dralexandrasolomon.com/how-to-get-closure-after-a-breakup/

[2] https://psychcentral.com/relationships/finding-closure

[3] https://hellodivorce.com/already-divorced/get-closure-after-relationship-ends

[4] https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-get-closure-after-a-breakup/

[5] https://theconversation.com/the-psychology-of-closure-and-why-some-need-it-more-than-others-104159

[6] https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/in-flux/201104/5-ways-find-closure-the-past

[7] https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/comments/12bljbn/when_is_it_okay_to_reach_out_to_get_closure/

[8] https://wellsanfrancisco.com/how-to-get-closure-after-a-breakup/